


Dating a co-worker

by ophidianpoet



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-31
Updated: 2014-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-10 15:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1161550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ophidianpoet/pseuds/ophidianpoet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clubs has got a crush on a fellow gangster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dating a co-worker

"So how'd we do, boss?" the smallest member of the Midnight Crew asked, sitting atop one of the sacks full of cash they'd made off with. 

"Not too shabby fellas." Spades said approvingly, rifling through a stack of bills. He doled out shares for each of the guys, Hearts, Diamonds, himself and finally, Clubs, and wiped his bloody hands on his pants (earning himself a disdainful look from Droog).

"Gentlemen." Diamonds Droog said with a tip of his hat. "With that bit of work done, I've got business elsewhere. Good evening." he said evenly, turning to depart with his share of the loot.

"Business. Right. You're gettin' whores." Slick said to Droog's back.

"Better than what you get." was the snide reply, but Droog was gone before the knife Slick had thrown could hit home. Spades seethed for a moment until Clubs reached up and patted his shoulder comfortingly.

"Don't ding up Knifey 'cause of him, boss. He's just jealous because Miss Sn0wman spends so much time with you." Clubs soothed. Slick sighed, pacified by the proper address of his knife, as well as the assertion that he was still better than Droog at everything, and the three remaining Crew members slunk back to the hideout without anybody getting stabbed. Hearts reached down to give Clubs an appreciative fist-bump.

"Good work li'l guy." Hearts said, again impressed with the impressive auspistice work of Clubs Deuce. Deuce just smiled. He liked his job, he liked his boss, and he liked not getting knifed. Clubs left Spades and Hearts out in the hideout's living room and sat on his little bed, reflecting for a moment on all the things he liked. Bombs. Blunt objects. Gummies. But more than those things, there was a person. Out of all the things Deuce liked, he liked Droog the most. But he wasn't sure what to do about it.

There was a tap on his window, and he opened it to let Clover in. It was a Thursday night, and Thursdays were their videogame nights. Clover really liked Deuce's favorite game, Fantavision, so he popped it in and they got into the versus mode.

"Hey, Clover..." Deuce asked cautiously. "I got a question. Is it weird to like someone you work with?"

Clover paused the game (he was good at puzzles, but not at multitasking). "No, I don't think so. I mean all us Felt technically work together, and Die and Crowbar have a thing going. If it doesn't interfere with your job, why not, right?"

"Hm." Deuce replied, un-pausing and proceeding to relentlessly destroy Clover's attempts at getting a high score.

"You always win at that one Clubs." the tiny leprechaun gave an exasperated sigh.

Deuce grinned. "Okay, okay, next week we'll play one of your games. Fair?" he suggested.

"Fair! I've got Saw: The Video Game, I'll bring it over!"

"Sounds fun. Byeee!" he waved goodbye as his green pal scooted out the window and back to Felt Mansion. Deuce flipped on his night-time relaxation tape, a history lesson about WWII explosives development, and dozed off, thinking Die and Crowbar, huh. Well if it's okay for them, it should be okay for me, right?

Droog was always so cool, and so good at his job. Clubs loved the way Droog's outfits always looked so sharp, and the way he absent-mindedly smoothed his hair back after beating someone within an inch of their life with his cue stick...that was kind of cute, really. Clubs rolled over on his side, clutching a pillow and kicking his feet as he thought about all the other cool things Droog did.  
Clubs woke up the next day, and went out looking for Hearts. Out of all the people he knew, Hearts Boxcars always seemed to have a girlfriend or boyfriend at some point. He'd be able to clear this up, Deuce was sure of it.

"Hearts? Hey, Hearts I need to talk to you!" Deuce walked through the hideout calling. Boxcars lumbered out of his room, still only in predictably heart-print boxers and white undershirt and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He yawned hugely showing his formidable, flesh-shredding teeth, and blinked at Clubs. "What's up, li'l man?"

Clubs held one of his hats in his fingers, fidgeting with it. "Hearts, I...I like Droog. Like, a lot." Deuce decided to just come right out and say it. Hearts never made fun of him for anything, and never EVER stabbed him, so Deuce didn't think any hesitation was necessary.

"Droog...wait, _Diamonds_ Droog? You tellin' me you got a crush on _him_?" Hearts asked incredulously. Clubs considered the question for a moment.   
"Yes, I think that's what I'm saying. I mean, I'm pretty sure that's what I said..." Clubs looked around helplessly. "I went to sleep last night thinkin' about him...what do I do now? I...really like him. Do I ask him to go on a date? Or does he ask me..." Clubs rambled as Hearts picked him up, toting him over to their couch. Hearts settled Deuce on a cushion and thought a moment.

"Well...it's kind of unexpected, but here's what I'll tell ya: Let him know you like him, but not too much. He's shy, in his own way, but he'll appreciate the sentiment. And I think he has a pretty good opinion of you all things considered, so there shouldn't be much of a risk involved. Go for it, why not? Dunno if he's into guys, but give it a shot anyway, y'know?" Hearts smiled, patting Deuce's shoulder encouragingly. Clubs smiled and nodded, watching Hearts lope into their kitchen and start cooking some eggs.

Clubs had his breakfast with Hearts, and got on with his work for the day, casing up a couple joints Slick had left addresses for. He didn't see any of Droog until later that night, when he was busy munching on some fancy sugar-dusted gummies on the couch. Diamonds came in quietly, hanging his hat by the door (Droog's hook was the only one that ever got used anyway) and joining Deuce on the couch, lighting up a cigarette.

" 'evening, Deuce." Droog said conversationally, taking a couple puffs. Deuce just stared, a plethora of words caught in his throat.

"...DROOG THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU." Clubs unintentionally shouted, startling Diamonds enough to make the cigarette fall from his lips.

"Y-yes?!" Diamonds queried, hastily picking up his fallen smoke.

"Um. Okay. I....like. You. I like you."

"...you like me."

"A lot."

"...alright?"

"I have a crush on you, Droog. Hearts said I should go for it, so I did."

"I see."

This had to be the most awkward conversation Diamonds Droog had ever been subjected to in his life.

Clubs went on, undaunted. "So I don't know if we go on a date now or whatever is supposed to happen...I just wanted to let you know." he stammered, feeling fireworks go off in his stomach.

Composure regained, Droog laughed, though not unkindly, not at Clubs. 

"Well Deuce, I think...I think I'm alright with that." he replied, looking over at his fellow gangster and noticing some sugar crystals abiding close alongside Deuce's lips.

The number of genuine love confessions Diamonds Droog had been gifted with in his life was not great, so he wasn't entirely prepared for this. Seizing the opportunity presented to him, however, he reached over with a gloved hand, catching Deuce's chin gently and licking the stray sugar crystals away before stubbing out his cigarette and walking off.

Clubs was stunned. He was pretty sure he was smiling, but he traced fingers over his cheeks, just to check. Yep, smiling like an idiot. 

It was apparent to Deuce that he and Hearts had a lot more to discuss.


End file.
